Is it just me or has the dating scene changed drastically??

I have been single for a few years. Mostly because I was healing through trauma. While I was working through my PTSD with a therapist, I decided to spend that time alone. And if you’ve ever embraced healing and releasing pride, you know the process is like peeling an onion 🧅. There’s many layers that lead to another. After three years of therapy, I’ve come to accept that healing never ends. And certain things only come out into the conscious mind when it’s time. I cannot speed up the process and take care of it all, once and for all.

Lately, in my therapy sessions I have become aware of how many people, male and female, family and friend, have been jealous of me the whole time. And when I say this whole time, I mean 20-30yr “friendships”.

I hit a Pluto purge, and released every single person. I literally have no friends and I’m over 40 years old.

If you know astrology, you know Pluto is about purging, being emptied out, and hitting ground zero. Pluto only does that when lessons have not been learned. And clearly I missed the mark with “friends”.

Pluto also taught me what exactly it is about me that people are jealous of.

I found several things. It’s just me, my entrepreneurship, my inner strength, my natural gifts and talents, how easy my life is and the types of men I date. Whenever I do date.

I found in my natal chart that those things are the reasons why people, male and female, family, friend, neighbors and coworkers alike are in secret competition with me. Pluto also taught me the red flags of subtly. And the competition is just that. Subtle. It happens as slow as molasses, over time.

What was most interesting is watching how people responded to me taking my power back. I learned, that Pluto is power struggles, battle of the wills, and conquering. But through the mind. I call this, mind f****d. I think of this like a narcissistic person. They want a person’s mind because that gives control over everything else.

And I tell you, people were in a frenzy over not being in control over me, and not knowing what I will do next. They can’t handle when I’m quiet. 😂

With that being said, I have learned how to cultivate healthy relationships and boundaries. And decided to utilize those tools when dating… and, my God!

What the heck happened????

Firstly, I like seeing women, from the baby boomers to Gen Z make boss moves!

From multimillion dollar businesses to CDL licenses. Women have really elevated over time. Some women enjoy traditional marriages, while others thrive in modern/Poly relationships or marriages. And to me poly relationships are simply people agreeing and being honest about wanting multiple people. And that’s better than sneaking around and taking someone else’s choice away from them. The honesty is what makes it safer.

I’ve seen both modern and traditional women/wives create passive incomes and work from home. The purpose seems to be due to leaving corporate America in droves to take care of their kids, and to be accessible to their husbands.

It seems to me that there has been an era of Exodus that women have made in the work place. Especially Corporate America. And I never noticed!

Now, it has also been, from what I have experienced, some men left behind. Meaning, as women elevated, men stayed the same. Women now out earn men. Even from home, passively. And that has bruised the ego of most men.

And since when has a man’s ego been so fragile???

If a woman is proud of her accomplishments, it almost as if a woman can’t mention it. Because if she does, a man automatically takes that as an offense.

Almost like he’s being told he has no worth or value. And that’s not true.

But, if a man talks about his accomplishments, it’s supposed to be viewed as him being proud of himself and what he has done.

I have encountered 60+yr old men say things like, “I’m looking for a vibe”. Aka sex without commitment. Like, sir… come on now… you’re on your way to the nursing home. Stop ✋🏼 it.

I have heard “I’m looking for friends and to hang out”. Aka sex without commitment. Realistically speaking, men don’t want to be friends with a woman! And no man wants to know he’s in competition with another man. Let alone know another man is having sex with that woman. Their ego is too fragile for that. Hell will freeze over before a man allows another man to have the opportunity, the space, to have access to that woman. Just the thought of it is an issue.

I have heard, “I’m not looking for anything”. Aka sex without commitment.

I have watched men purposefully be unintentional.

I have seen adult men with the emotional temperament of a seven year old child.

And what’s worse is that some men seem to think just because he got away with something with one woman, he can do the same thing to all women.

I have watched men pick a woman he doesn’t qualify for, and tried to verbally and mentally break her into submitting to him so that he can have access to her. And that’s abusive. And doesn’t work!

Then there’s a batch of people whom aim for the people that don’t want them back. Which makes no sense to me. Why go for the person who does not want you?

And then get angry about it!

It’s the audacity and entitlement for me!

I have found that the people whom have something to lose, vet properly. They are slow to commit and they date who they have access to.

Then there’s a batch of people whom literally have nothing for themselves. Not a place to live, never established any credit, no high school diploma, no passport, no driver’s license, no job, no health insurance, no life insurance, no stability, no ambition. For themselves. And they are the quickest to commit to a relationship. And they go for the person who is unattainable. For them. Meaning they want the fantasy woman/man. And they hide the fact that they don’t have the relationship skills needed to sustain what they want.

The thirty-something year olds, are just exiting their Saturn Return. And still have parental issues. But, they know how to keep a relationship. I’ve seen older men with younger women, and older women with younger men.

The 50+ year old men that have never been married have a lot of trauma. And too prideful to seek therapy.

Seems that they’ve given their best to the wrong woman, and have decided what they are not going to do. Then expect all women to accept it. And still want access to sex.

My opinion is, just as a man does not want the baggage of a past relationship of a woman, a woman does not want the baggage of a man’s past relationship. Especially if she’s healed and earns her own money.

The men 40+ seem to live in a habitual state of fantasy. They don’t live on earth in reality with the rest of us! And they seems to still have mommy issues at that age that they oddly won’t let go of. And they don’t want to face the truth because it hurts too much. Therapy is really out of the question for them!

Why? Because they’re too prideful!

They don’t realize that women no longer accept a toxic man. Women no longer accept stress. Women no longer accept dysfunction. Men actually have to have a personality now. Women are now choosing peace ☮️ over a man and willingly let go of sex.

Men have to recognize that they are really fighting against themselves, how and why on their own. There’s no more days of building a man. A man either has it for himself or he doesn’t.

Which led me to ask an important question. If it’s an issue for a woman to build a man, and he wants a woman to want him for him and not what he has or for his looks, why didn’t he commit to the one who was willing and competent when he had the opportunity?

There’s no issue with building. The problem is he wants access to a woman whom he can’t financially afford. And he wants that woman to lower her standards so he can have access to that specific woman.

Then there are those men who won’t admit the woman whom is “building a man”, he just doesn’t want that specific woman.

Some men complain that women don’t give them a chance. And when given the chance, they fumble. Then complain again. 😂 They speak it into existence then think it’s too good to be true. That’s wild to me! 😂😂😂

But, men already know that a woman shouldn’t be in the role of building a man. Her feminine energy is used to build the home. Women naturally multiply and enhance what they touch!

I don’t know if it’s called gold post or goal post. Either way, men always move it. Which tells me they don’t want what they’re saying that they want. Some men just want to fight women. Mostly because he’s angry about not getting the girl he really wanted but didn’t qualify for. Period. So all innocent women get gaslighted and verbally beat up on. Women have to learn to stop absorbing that energy. It belongs to him, not her. You stop by knowing imperative information. And stop being around or in contract with toxic men.

And some men are broke. They just don’t say that.

“If you’re broke just say that” is a quote from Generation Y that tickles me pink! 😂

Then there are the older men who aims for the woman in the twenties. It’s her prime years where she should be looking forward to marriage and her own family. But these men target them as their prey, because they can be gaslighted out of their panties. And that’s about control. Meanwhile, her prime years are wasted. That man never tells that woman he has no intentions on marrying her. And it’s up to her to “see it”.

At the same time, the era of gaslighting women out of their panties has begun to come to an end. From the millennials to generation z, their eyes 👀 are opening up.

And they’re becoming more spiritually inclined and emotionally self aware. Either through each other or with the help of generation x & baby boomers.

Even the baby boomers are saying they’re not tolerating stress and toxicity from men! They’re choosing to focus on their grandkids instead.

This tells me, that women would prefer to be single than to be bothered with the baggage some men come with. Regardless of her age.

I recently read an article by Psychology Today that said there’s over 60% of men now on dating websites, but they’re lonely and depressed. This tells me there are more men on dating websites than women. Again, a shift in era’s and the tables have turned in favor of women. There was once a point in time when women outnumbered men and men were still unmarried and single. Nevertheless, I can imagine the depression is due to loneliness.

(I wonder why they’re lonely.. 🧐😂)

So, my experience in dating lately has been a learning experience. I have seen exactly how much era’s have changed. I have seen who has been progressing and who has been left behind. I have seen who has ambition, and who doesn’t. Who is realistic, and who isn’t. Where to meet someone new, and where not to go.

As for me, I have found that dating younger then me is not stressful. I enjoy the love and transparency. I enjoy the emotional attachment. I enjoy the sexual chemistry. I like how they produce, provide and protect. And I like the peace ☮️.

Quite frankly, I don’t blame the generations after me for choosing peace over sex.

I love a zaddy who is older than me. But they’re too damaged emotionally. On top of being emotionally unavailable and emotionally dishonest.

The added benefit of dating younger than me is that, he said, “I like you and you like me. Let’s take a trip. We can talk there”.

😊🥰❤️💯

Did I mention the trip was in The Virgin Islands???

I’m not sure how many men in my age bracket would be creative enough for a first date to be in The Virgin Islands.

But then again, if you vet well, you would know whether the person is for a moment, or offer long term stability, love and respect…

PS. Ladies, don’t be afraid to date someone younger than you! ❤️

The one I have is a keeper. ❤️🥰❤️

And I finally have happiness. With the road that I’ve been on, I deserve it!

Lastly, for the men that are left behind by being stuck in time, y’all better get it together. And now. In the next 5 years or less, you men will see a boom of women not being bothered with sex, a relationship, children, nor marriage. And that excludes you from them. Making your dating options smaller. You have to know that there are already over 60% of men on dating websites. That means women are not there in high numbers.

By the time you realize the boom begun, they will have either divested or married a man younger then you are. The shift has already happened. Whether you accept it, or not.

xoxo

A Healthy Parent