Today I’m feeling a bit better about the revelations that I’ve gotten over the past few days. In my natal chart I had mercury retrograde in Libra, aspecting my Chiron in Aries. That made my intuition on point. Everything that God revealed to me during that aspect is true.

Which is, my mother has blood on her hands. Meaning, she’s guilty because she planted the seed of division between my son and I all because she was jealous of me. Not only am I paying a price for it, but she is as well. One of her son’s don’t respect her. He only speak because she spends money. Of she wasn’t buying him things, there would be no relationship. But in my brother heart, he doesn’t care, he’s a user, and if the relationship isn’t beneficial for him, there wouldn’t be one. On top of that, he has his mental health issues. There will always be a division between my mother and brother, and, my son and I. Until my mother plucks up that seed she planted in my son, the spirit will stay in the bloodline. It will pass down from my son to his kids, my brother and his children.

This, is what a generational curse looks like. I believe that my mother held her parents accountable for something when they were never wrong to begin with. Now that her parents are deceased, she can’t apologize to them. She has to go to God with that and fast, actually. Then when she’s done with that fast, she needs to go to my son and tell the truth. Of course, none of that will happen. Because she’s emotionally codependent, she won’t admit the truth and she wouldn’t allow anyone to see her sweat. Which is nothing but pride. I can’t imagine that as smart as my mother is, that she doesn’t know those are the steps she needs to take. Yet, she wants unity to happen in her family while never putting in the work. Again, this is another situation where it’s not my cross to bear.

So let me say this another way. Because my mother wanted me to suffer, she planted a seed of division between my son and I. Never realizing that what she was doing would catapult my son into mental health issues. She didn’t want that part to happen, but she did want my son taken away from me. And she accomplished that. And because God saw what she did, He caused the same thing to happen between her and her son. That’s why there’s blood on her hands. And now that’s she’s elderly, and has a crappy husband, she wants unity in her family just to show her husband whatever it is she wants to show him. And in that situation, she’s about 15 years too late. Whatever he think, he won’t change his mind all of a sudden.

So, let me back track a bit. My mother was a crackhead. And she was so consumed with getting high that she wasn’t sending my siblings to school. The school reported it to child protective services. And CPS took the kids out of the home and left me because I was a teenager with a baby. My mother blamed me for it when it had nothing to do with me. And my mother wanted me to feel her pain. She tried to get CPS to take my son from me. God blocked her. Then she tried to get my son father to take custody away from me. Not knowing he never wanted to be a parent to begin with. So she was blocked there too. Then my mother tried to get the paternal grandmother to take custody of my son away from me. And God blocked that too. But my mother never realized God kept blocking her. And she kept plotting against me. My mother was relentless towards me. And that’s when God sent her to jail. and when she went to jail she lost everything. My mother spent 5 years in jail. And that was plenty of te for her to think about what she did. When she got out she was a little more humble. But, she still had angst towards me. She wanted bad things to happen to me but she took her hands off of trying to make it happen herself. So she would come around me, waiting and watching for negative things to happen to me. Just so she can gloat.

Side note: I recently had to get rid of a “friend”. She started paying attention to me due to the pandemic and not having anything to do. And she became jealous of me. Next thing I knew, she wanted bad things to happen to me and kept plotting on “getting me”. The more went against me, the more God kept blessing me in her face. Which made her madder. Just like my mother. My “friend” ended up on the losing end. God snatched her income away, all of her friends and the man she was in love with. God gave me a premonition and I saw her standing alone, thinking about where her life is at. She contemplated suicide because she felt she had nothing to live for. You see, people have to be careful of who they want vengeance on and why. God sees all things and no one knows a man’s heart better than God. He knows the truth and speaks the truths. People get jealous of me and my lifestyle. They try to bury me and God whoops their ass. He starts off blocking them and then they lose the things that hurts them the most.

Nevertheless, it was wrong for my mother to hold me accountable for things that weren’t my responsibility and had nothing to do with me. I had enough on my plate by being a teenaged, poor, uneducated and single parent. All these years she has blamed me and I never saw what has been in my face all this time. Until mercury retrograde aspected my chiron and gave me the revelation. My mother, is evil. No sane parent harms their children nor wishes bad on their kids.

I recently learned something. I learned that you don’t have to wish bad on anyone. Karma keeps score on it’s own. For those of us who knows astrology, it’s Saturn that keeps score. And eventually, there will come an aspect and degrees that will cause Saturn to release the karmic score!

I wouldn’t wish bad on my son. Even though he abused me, turned on me and has so much hate and anger in his heart towards me. I know that Saturn is keeping score. I await the day to see when that energy is released. My prayer is that God would allow me to witness it. Or at least, let me hear about it. Another thing that God does with me, is when a person gets back their karma, God will cause the person to tell me blow by blow details about what they experienced. Even if its 5 years after it happened. All I do is listen. I never let the person know they’re telling me that got back what they did to me. Why? Because they’d stop talking. As long as they talk, I will hear it. Straight from the horses mouth!

I wait… One day, my son will have his 1st child…And I expect her to be very similar to me..